"All In"

"Everyone is in such a rush all the time. Such a rush to get to the next place, the next event, the next big thing in life. Why are we all in such a hurry to die? Eventually we are all going to the same place. Why are we in such a rush to get there?"
-Kevin Bracy-somewhere in the middle of the night along route 66- One of the top motivational speakers in the world

Dave,Kate,Ray,Jimmy,Erika,Me,Sim,&Jas

I wasn't even sure where to begin with this post. My thoughts have been all over the map the last week since I have been back from running across the United States with Run It Forward, and I am still trying to digest everything I saw and experienced into my brain. I am forever changed. Forever impacted, and so grateful to Erika Small and Jason Harper for including me on there incredible journey. What most people don't quite understand that along with running the entire length of route 66 we also made many stops at schools where part of our crew gave motivational talks(Jason, Erika, Jimmy, & Kevin), and we did incredibly awesome things like staging small little races and ran laps with the kids, gave out ribbons and bracelets, groceries, and free dental care. It was such an incredible feat that Jason Harper, & Erika Small managed to make happen, and all the while we all accomplished running all 2448 miles in 18 days! Day after day, hour after hour, and non stop most of the time we relayed our way across the united states until we hit the Santa Monica Pier! We each averaged about a marathon a day in miles, some days we ran through the night, in the heat of the hottest days I have ever ran in, faced 40mph headwinds, and at times were even in real danger of our lives. Our family of 18 crew members was made up of runners, Mom's(my Jenny Jenny 2 fast!), Physical Therapists(Love you Big Daddy Balla and Sara Sara Bad Ass), and many others that all devoted there time to helping the runners crew, pace, run some miles, and do whatever it took to get to the finish. My life became a mantra of run, shower, eat, sleep, recover, and repeat...it was just nuts!!! Below is a great link to a small video clip of some of what we did...it's only the beginning my friends for what future plans are for Run It Forward. I am honored to now call all of these people my second family, and looking forward to an amazing future with them!! This video was done by the amazing and very talented Bryson Roach! 


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HdcEe3SJ1og&feature=player_embedded


Towards the end of the trip Jimmy Dean , James Bonnet, and Jesse planned a master surprise on me and Jesse showed up in the middle of Flagstaff. The boys totally disguised Jesse as James, and up until the split second Jesse ran into Flagstaff with Jimmy Dean I actually thought he was James! He even put a bandana on his head just like James does and from a far I thought it was him. I have never been so surprised in my life!! Jimmy captured the picture below the exact moment I realized it was my baby!! I leaped up on Jesse and gave him the biggest hug ever!

I picked some of my favorite pictures below of me running along Route 66 at various times during the trip, and a few other cool photos and just compiled them below... and yes I lived in nothing but my INKnBURN running clothes!! 

So my crazy & busy my life has resumed back to its awesomeness pretty fast, and one thing that has most definitely come out of this is my legs are a little faster. My turn over is just plain faster. I am so stoked! I feel awesome, and this weekend Jesse and I are heading up to Big Bear to race Holcomb Valley 33 mile. Also while I was gone Jesse bought me a new bike!! It's a Giant brand frame, and the rest of the bike was custom built by his friend Vess. I took it out for a spin yesterday, and I LOVE it! Our plan is to do a 70 mile ride through Three Rivers this Summer, camp, and then do a 42 mile training run up there. He might race White River 50 mile, I am definitely racing AC100, and then we are going up to Oregon so he can race Waldo 100k. He is toying with the idea of racing Bear 100 mile, but it will be his first 100 miler, and I won't be able to be there as it's the same weekend as Leona Valley Trail Races. He kind of has his heart set on it though as James Bonnet is also racing it, and our friend  Scott Jaime's dad could help crew Jesse since I can't be there. I am also racing Wasatch 100 mile in September so it just is gonna be nuts the next few months!! The next few weekends after this one will be spent up at our cabin in Idyllwild. We love it up there, and so does my son! Tons, and tons of high altitude high mileage training is all I am about right now. I am so dang lucky my man shares the same passions I do. He is the best training partner ever!!

So after everything I have been through in the last two years this Summer is somewhat bitter sweet for me. Sort of a two year renunion to pulling my head outta my ass, and starting my life over for the better. Not settling, and going after exactly what I wanted outta life. I am happier than I ever could have imagined, doing exactly what I want to be doing with my career, and all the while sharing it with the man of my dreams . I heard a song the other day, and it just grasps where I have come from in my life. I have landed stronger than I ever could have imagined, and I am living my life by my rules, the way I wanna live it, and am 100% "All In"...(that one was for you my *Suga' Suga' Bad Ass*)!! Below are the words to such an amazing song, and I am screaming it out loud rght now!!! Amen to celebrating life-and just being wide awake and fully in it! On, on, on with life my friends...GO AFTER YOUR HAPPINESS!! 

"Wide Awake"

I'm wide awake
I'm wide awake

I'm wide awake
Yeah, I was in the dark
I was falling hard
With an open heart
I'm wide awake
How did I read the stars so wrong

I'm wide awake
And now it's clear to me
That everything you see
Ain't always what it seems
I'm wide awake
Yeah, I was dreaming for so long

I wish I knew then
What I know now
Wouldn't dive in
Wouldn't bow down
Gravity hurts
You made it so sweet
Till I woke up on
On the concrete

Falling from cloud 9
Crashing from the high
I'm letting go tonight
(Yeah I'm) Falling from cloud 9

I'm wide awake
Not losing any sleep
Picked up every piece
And landed on my feet
I'm wide awake
Need nothing to complete myself - nooohooo

I'm wide awake
Yeah, I am born again
Outta the lion's den
I don't have to pretend
And it's too late
The story's over now, the end

I wish I knew then
What I know now
Wouldn't dive in
Wouldn't bow down
Gravity hurts
You made it so sweet
Till I woke up on
On the concrete

Falling from cloud 9
Crashing from the high
I'm letting go tonight (yeah, I'm letting go)
I'm Falling from cloud 9

Thunder rumbling
Castles crumbling
I am trying to hold on
God knows that I tried
Seeing the bright side
But I'm not blind anymore...
I'm wide awake
I'm wide awake

Yeah, I'm Falling from cloud 9
Crashing from the high
You know I'm letting go tonight
I'm Falling from cloud 9

I'm wide awake
I'm wide awake
I'm wide awake
I'm wide awake
I'm wide awake

Run it Forward!!!

"Children are like wet cement~whatever falls on them makes an impression to stay forever"


I wasn't sure where to even begin with this post so I thought I would start with my own childhood, and relate what I am doing in the next few weeks to that. As a little girl things were never easy for me. As a matter of fact my entire childhood was downright horrific, and I spent most of it just "surviving". 


I love kids. I always have. All the years my son was little(he is now almost 16!) I was drawn to help in his classroom, and I have a huge passion for helping kids that come from troubled home situations. I always wished I could do more, and some how figure out a way to really help kids in a manner more than just volunteering in a classroom. As a young girl growing up I was severely physically and mentally abused. There was never a single day-ever-in my childhood that I wasn't being yelled at, put down, or being beat to a pulp. I just never knew any different, and the only thing I ever knew was to do whatever it took to not set my step dad off on a rage, and just do my best to be as well behaved as possible. I was constantly keeping myself busy as it was my natural way of surviving. If I was away from the house, and not around no one could hurt me. As I entered middle school I quickly flourished in P.E. , and was constantly eager to out run the boys in the mile. It became a very strong obsession of mine, and by the end of sixth grade I was running as fast as most of the boys. I loved my P.E. teacher *Mrs. Kuenzal*. She was always so positive towards me, and strongly encouraged my running. One day towards the end of the year she asked if I would like to try out for the 7th & 8th grade after school run program. She explained I would be the only girl on the team, but she just knew I could do it. I would have to run a sub 7 minute mile for two miles, and then she would let me on the team. She also hoped it would encourage more girls to come out and join the small team of 12 boys. I went home that day and was afraid to tell my parents. Not that they ever cared at all what I was doing, but if there ever was anything that was positive or good in my life my step dad made sure to take it away. He worked tirelessly to make my life a living hell, and was just an awful human being. Instead I decided not to tell them, and just try out without there permission. I didn't have correct running shoes so my sister let me break open her piggy bank, and mine, and we pulled together enough money to buy a pair of low top converse. I knew I could not keep running in my worn out full of hole Keds. 


The following Monday was try outs. I woke up, and was eating breakfast when my Mom came into the kitchen, and said she received a phone call from my P.E teacher requesting a signed permission slip for an after school run program I never turned it. Shit!! I had forgotten all about that. I then explained to my Mom what I was doing, and she quickly responded that running was for boys, and I would never do well at it. She looked me right in the eyes and explained all the pretty and popular girls were cheerleaders, and although I could never be like these girls it was embarrassing for her what I was doing. She told me she would not sign the permission slip. She left the house, and I sat at the table with tears streaming down my cheeks. I got myself together enough to walk to school, and when I arrived I was surprised to see my name still on the try out roster. I ran across campus to the P.E locker rooms, and there was Mrs.Kuenzal smiling at me. She explained that somehow she had gotten her hands on a signed permission slip, and it would be our secret that she had done so. Her belief in me, and love was all I needed that day. Somehow she knew what was going on at home. To this day she is one of the most influential people that has crossed my path. After school I pulled the converse outta my backpack, and lined up with 14 boys trying to make the team. A few laughed at me, but not all of them. 


We took off like bandits, and I quickly tucked in behind the lead boys. I figured if I was gonna do this thing I wanted to give it my all. As we clocked off the laps I could feel my lungs starting to burn. Spit was foamed at my mouth, and even my eyelids hurt. Mrs. Kuenzal yelled that we had clocked a 6:05 for the first mile as we flew by her going into our fifth lap. Four laps down; four to go. Lap after lap we flew by her, and still I was able to keep the lead boys not to far ahead of me. My only goal was to not come in last!! I pushed and pushed, and with one lap to go I could see the joy in her face. I finished the last lap as she yelled, "12:06"!!!! I collapsed on the grass shaking and in shock at what I had just done. After a couple minutes I managed to wobble up, and walk over to the group of boys who looked as if they had not even ran. I now was part of a team, and I couldn't wait to embark on the journey of running with them! 


I went on to run through High School, and it was the saving grace for the entire length of my childhood to always get me through all the awfulness. It taught  me discipline, and how to be confident, and love myself. It gave me the self worth I was always told I never had, and for me running saved my life. If it wasn't for that one teacher believing in me, and brining it into my life I cannot imagine where I would be today. I was told my entire child hood such awful and horrific things about who I was that after many years I believed it. When you are a small developing helpless little girl, and someone day in and day out physically and emotionally torments you it just starts to become who you are. Running somehow made me believe different. I was good at it, and it helped me escape from it all. Before long I had survived my childhood, and I quickly left home. I have never stopped running, and even now to this day it has become my job. I never would have thought in a million years I would own and direct Trail Races. Thank you Mrs. Kuenzal-Thank you-


So when the amazing and sweet Jason Harper approached me a year and 8 months ago(yes that long ago) about being a part of an incredible life journey called "Run It Forward" I quickly felt a deep obligation to figure out how I could fit this in my life. What is "Run It Forward" you ask...Below is a quick 60 second video link to give you a small idea of what it's briefly about: 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ww2lPcnVaNo


And here is the detailed version of what it's really all about...



Run If Forward (RIF) brings awareness and focus to some of the America’s most underserved schools. With great need along the most historic highway, Route 66, every step of the highway is covered by a pounding of the pavement by a runner. Each step is a stride towards a better tomorrow. The Main Street of America becomes the classroom where education and academics meets endurance athletes running it forward. Seeing that Small Town, USA is often forgotten, RIF syncs with the rhythm of what makes America great, the people. Three Soccer Moms opt to redefine the perception of ‘real housewives.’ These progressive, driven, and compassionate activists are more interested in changing the world and leaving the world better than they found it. Connected to the endurance world, they invited some well known ultrarunners into their concept of compassion. It’s morphed into a motivational plan.
**THE PLAN- Grab eight ultra runners and shove their ego and pension for painstaking distances into a constantly moving tour bus from Chicago to California. Covering a marathon a day for nearly twenty days straight, the runners leap frog in 13 mile rotating segments. Stopping along the way, the team motivates and mentors kids to maximize their education by minimizing the hurdles they’ll face.
**THE PROBLEMATIC HURDLES- Students lack access to adequate health and dental care, Students lack access to early detection and sustained emotional care towards wholeness, Students lack access to healthy and nutritional resources, replacing fitness with fatigue, & Students lack literacy and are often promoted with out reading at grade level.
**THE PATH- Eight States’ along the Route 66 path have been hit by the global recession. Run It Forward seeks to assist some of the most severely impacted schools. Traveling in a tour bus similar to a rock band, The Run It Forward Tour is where education and endurance collide. We will stop at schools and teach them about after school run programs, dental care, nutrition, and do everything in our power to motivate them to a healthy life. 


So much of me is scared to death to leave my life for 18 days. To leave my son, my Jesse, my work, and all that I am comfortable with. I remind myself though that if I had thought that way two years ago I would never be where I am today. Life has to be about taking risks, leaving that comfort zone, and embracing life's amazing gifts. Someday when years have passed I can truly look back on my life and say I have lived to it's fullest potential. To be able to say I made an impact somewhere in some child's life that could alter there entire path. That to me is worth it all. That is exactly what Mrs.Kuenzal did for me, and I will always be grateful to her for that. So on Sunday I will board a flight with Jimmy Dean Freeman, and Kate Freeman to Chicago, and our journey will begin. Together along with a handful of 5 other amazing athletes and three very organized Soccer Mom's we will run across more than half of the USA all in the hopes of helping change the lives in hundreds of children. Until then I sign off on my blog, and look forward to visiting you all again in early June. Let the journey begin!! 


"Children are great imitators. So give them something great to imitate."

Leona Divide in a video...why I LOVE my life-

Yep these are my friends-I love my life

Here is the best way I know how to sum up Leona Divide...Thank you Greg Lanctot for this rad video...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMzhOEjSFAM&feature=youtu.be

Thank you to all my friends, family, and amazing volunteers for helping make Leona Divide an overwhelming success. Thank you to Montrail for believing in this girl from Southern Ca. You trusted me, and had faith...a girl who has come from nothing. A reckless and horrific childhood. Self made, self strong, pure survivor. We are rocking it down here in So-Cal.

 Thank you to the love of my LOVE of my life Jesse Haynes for being my better half, and my everything. I will love every ounce of you until the day I die. The man of my dreams, and my soul mate. My best friend, training partner, and co-rd I love you baby!!!! Below are some pics of course marking, and a picture of me on Monday pulling course ribbons, and out playing on the trails. Someone pinch me. I love my life.

Last here is a link to irunfar's great recap of the big show down of the top competitors at the race, and top overall results. Thanks B!! 
http://www.irunfar.com/2012/04/2012-leona-divide-50-mile-results.html