It is simply impossible to achieve anything without belief in oneself. You must truly put aside all doubt, and really visualize what you want, where you will be, and picture yourself doing that. Its sometimes can be a bit easier said than done, but for the most part if you can do this for 85% of your life then you are on the right path. Life is incredibly hard at times. So much so that I too doubt myself many times over. What I have learned to do though is hit the delete button quickly following any of those negative thoughts. I also through the years have learned to not accept what anyone else says about me. Not everyone is going to agree with me or like me. I am perfectly ok with that. Its not to say that at times it does not bother me, but in order to find your best self, and your true extraordinary person inside you must not ever listen to what others tell you that you can or can't do. No one is n charge of your destiny or life but you. Period. If you think you are ordinary then an ordinary life you will lead. I only accept that I am extraordinary, and its that kind of life I now have. Do not ever sell yourself short. Do not ever let anyone take away your value. People can call you all kinds of different things, but you are not what people call you. You are only what YOU answer to. Answer only to people who see your greatness, and speak greatness about you.
I recently had someone tell me my downhill running skills were ranked at a 7 out of 10. Funny because I believe that one of my greatest skills is fast technical downhill running. It sat in my mind for a few weeks, and for whatever reason I just could not shake it. The more I focused on it the more it almost started to seep into my brain. I then did a training run in the mountains last weekend with some of the fast boys, and at my casual downhill running pace hung tight with Dom as we blasted for eight solid miles on the trails. He would pick up, and I would push. He would push, and I pushed harder. I love Dom so much because he is crazy fast, and the whole time just chatted away with me, and kept me company. The key thing here is this. I was halfway into a long mountain training run. My legs were tired, but I was able to do what I do best. Crush the downhills. We finished the run, and when we got in the car I mentioned to Jesse how one of our friends had scored me on my downhill running skills, and it had been really getting to me. He looked at me and was shocked I let this person get to me. We laughed about the comment, and then moved on with our day. That night I simply decided to delete that comment in my mind. I literally visualized myself hitting a small button that read the word "Delete", and then picture it over and over again. After about 10 minutes the thought was gone from my mind. I woke up the next day with the intent to do my 12 mile speed workout run on some steep trails. I decided I would push harder than I ever had ran downhill, and as I did it I once again visualized the delete button getting rid of that thought. I had the best run of my life, and on a pretty tuff and technical trail I was hitting 6:05's and 6:10's all downhill. I refuse ever again to accept anything anyone says about me that does not fit into my life. This technique of hitting the delete button is something I plan on practicing in my life whenever needed. It works, and I am glad I read about it. I will only answer to people who have nice things to say. Simple as that.
This entire month as a whole has been very interesting on the emotional front for me. I have learned three very important things this month, and in the last few weekends on my training runs I have only fallen more in love with Jesse. Our relationship has grown stronger than ever before in the last two months, and life never seems to fall short of reminding me how glad I am that it has turned out the way it has.
1. Karma will never escape you. You can run and run, but you cannot escape it. We all mess up in life. We all make mistakes. What is key is you must take responsibility for the actions, face what you have done, and simply apologize where necessary. Being a coward will never do you any good. Plus it kind of makes you look like an idiot. Always take a hold of your actions, and own them. Face what is hard to face, and make right with people you have wronged. Your life will never be right if you don't do so. You will always be in dodge of your past, and living in that place. Who wants to live in the past? Let it go, and own it, and watch your life change.
2. Honesty and communication in a relationship is its key foundation. This was key for me to learn. It does not mean in my past relationships I was going around lying about everything, but I just did not understand the importance of being 100% honest 100% of the time when it comes to matters of the heart. Jesse and I communicate about everything. He tends to be a more private person so I don't want to go to into detail about our personal stuff, but lets just say we always talk about things. We never hide anything from each other, and we most certainly never lie about where we are going, who we are with, and what makes us happy. We truly love each other, and have a healthy relationship(a first for me!) so that means we are both in this together. We enjoy the same activities, and we do whatever it takes to make each other happy. If one of us is not getting what we need from the other we talk about it. We discuss. We always communicate, and we NEVER hide anything from each other. I cannot imagine being in a relationship where I had to do so. Unfortunately I had been years back, and it just sucked. No sugar coating at all. I was so unhappy, and it wasn't until I got out of that relationship, and into the right one that I could see that. Its hard at times because I spent nine years of my life I will never get back in that position, but I can only bless the past, and move forward for a better future. Sometimes we settle out of fear, and eventually our lives just pass by.
3. Count your blessings, and the do a "recount". I have found this quote key to repeat as a daily mantra in my life. I try to always remind myself of all the blessings I have, and then I just write them down, and say them out loud. I recount all that is great in my life, and try very hard to realize how lucky I really am. I do have incredible luck. Jesse points it out all the time. Like crazy good luck. I also have a million blessings to be thankful for everyday. Sometimes my list will be so long I run out of room on my paper. No matter how stressed I am or who bad things can get I always count my blessings that I have two working legs. I have two working arms. I have a working vehicle. I have great leadership skills. These are kind of the basic stuff. It gets really exciting when I start counting the big stuff. A beautiful gorgeous successful man that is madly in love with me. My running abilities. An awesome son who is healthy and smart. The more I dig the more I can come up with, and by the end of this practice I am beaming with excitement over my blessings. It helps keep me on track, and also stay motivated. The more happy you are with your life the more motivated you will be to go after your goals and dreams. Its just how it is.
I am very excited for Old Goats 50 mile this weekend. I will make no race predictions. My talent will speak for itself this weekend, and I look forward to giving 100% of all my heart and soul on that mountain on Saturday. I cannot wait. A supported long run in the mountains all day with good competition. Who wouldn't want that? I do have my eyes set on a few boys that I intend to bury. Other than that we will see how it goes. Lets not forget anything can happen. Its 50 miles in the mountains in higher temps on incredibly technical trails with almost 14,000 feet of climbing. Who knows what the day will hold. My lord I could end up barely making the cut offs. In the end I hope to just finish, and after count my blessings that I am able to participate in such a tuff sport. Really that's all that matters right?
On,On,On my friends. Have an amazing weekend out on the trails!!!